Passionate Hate
by Faix
Summary: Izaya shows up on Shizuo's doorstep one night looking for a fight. It turns out unexpected for both of them when the flea bursts into tears. What's wrong with the once-strong Izaya? Well... He's reached a certain conclusion...


Ikebukuro is a city with many mysteries… Many secrets… Many people. You would think, living there your whole life, you would get used to it. But sometimes the city presented Shizuo Heiwajima with a surprise. Sure, he was used to the flea popping up around town and evoking his rage. He was used to Tom showing up at his door after hours to chat, talk business, or invite him for a drink. He was used to all kinds of things, so when his doorbell rang after a long day of loan collecting, Shizuo merely muttered, "Someone better be dead…" instead of taking a long, confused stare at his door.

Home life for him wasn't that different from street life, besides the lack of annoyances. At home he could kick back on his couch, watch TV, and pretend he never threw some guy at a door or a vending machine at a barking dog. His blue glasses were off, tucked neatly in the breast pocket of his vest, and his tie was unclipped and hanging loosely around his neck. Those were the only changes to his appearance—well, that and the distinct lack of rage burning in his eyes.

Shizuo slowly lifted himself from the soft cushions of his couch so he could get the door, making whoever was on the other side have to ring a second time to keep the blonde focused. Honestly, whatever it was the man couldn't have cared less. Tom needed to go home and go to bed. Work was over and he had a family.

No one, however, had prepared Shizuo for the surprise he got at his door.

It wasn't Tom, but a certain red-eyed flea standing on his doorstep, a finger posed over the doorbell to ring a third time. Shizuo felt a red-hot stab of anger upon seeing the man, like he usually did whenever the louse was in town. It was the same anger that made his blood boil and gave him the sudden urge to chuck the heaviest thing he could find. But that rage was fairly short-lived. He barely had time to growl out, "You stupid flea…! What the fuck are you doing in Ikebu-?"

The sentence hadn't fully left his mouth before Izaya lashed out at him in a closed-fisted punch. No taunting words, no knife slashes, just what seemed to be a blind punch. Shizuo had to quickly step back to avoid it, the oddity of the situation dulling his anger considerably. Since when did Izaya shut up and attack? The brunette was always saying _something_or just running away from the fight.

And the attack didn't stop with one punch. Izaya continued his assault, his face a mixture of anger, pain, and confusion which was so unlike him. Punch after punch he advanced on Shizuo, not even taking the time to aim his hits as his target continued to back into the house, confused as hell and far too puzzled for his usual anger to spark. In all honesty, it was almost funny to watch the louse attempt to fight with no weapons and no obvious mind-set. Each lash out was easy to dodge and caused Izaya to stumble forward a bit before he could strike again. It was like watching a drunken man fight, though there was really no sign that the informant had had any alcohol.

But then the reason behind Izaya's actions started to become clear when the man started yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" with every punch. Shizuo felt the need to roll his eyes but at that moment he hit the back wall to his house, rendering his backwards retreat impossible. Izaya threw another punch that missed its mark, barely grazing the blonde's chest, instead causing the small man to stumble forward again, right into Shizuo. Izaya's forehead landed squarely in the middle of Shizuo's vest against the top button and for a moment neither moved, though on the blonde's part it was more from sheer confusion.

Even worse for Shizuo, Izaya seemed to crumple after a moment, completely leaning into him. The informant's hands even came up to ball into the black vest as his shoulder started shaking, a shaky mantra of "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you," spewing from his lips despite his actions.

Was the flea… Crying too?

Oh boy…

Shizuo had never been good with tears and his arms hung in midair, halfway about to wrap around Izaya and halfway about to push him away. He had never expected tears from the man before him. The brunette was cocky, annoyingly cheerful, self assured, a bastard… But never the one for tears.

With a long-suffering sigh, Shizuo finally let his arms rest around Izaya's shoulders, feeling terribly awkward and mentally cursing the louse for causing this situation. The informant's whole body seemed to tremble with a sob for a moment, the "I hate you," still going strong, only now with a few extra phrases in it. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you, so I can't love you. I hate you. I can't love you. I hate you."

It seemed the smaller man had finally had a l meltdown, and though Shizuo had always waited for this moment to come, he found no joy in it. Mainly because he was pinned the wall of his apartment comforting the man while the front door stood wide open, allowing anyone travelling down the hallway to peer into his apartment and see the scene. And the blonde could come up with no words. Nothing of comfort or of insult. He couldn't even tell the distraught man to pull himself together and get the fuck off.

It would have been a tender moment had Shizuo's eye not been twitching violently.

Shizuo didn't know how long he had been standing there, but at some point he grew almost comfortable with the position and less stiff than he had been before. It was so strange how in that moment his whole view on Izaya had changed. The blonde had never thought of the other as fragile before. Certainly not while beating the shit out of him, throwing vending machines, or knocking him senseless with a stop sign. Izaya had never been fragile but in this one moment he was very, extremely breakable.

At some point Izaya's shoulders stopped shaking and his breathing even out. Shizuo almost flipped when he realized that the annoying flea had fallen asleep on him. So the informant came to his house_, attacked_ him, and then fell _asleep_on him?

But surprisingly the anger didn't spark any of the blonde's usual homicidal rage. In fact, one could say he almost felt pity for the smaller man. In a single, uncharacteristically graceful movement, Shizuo had picked Izaya up bridal style and carried him to the couch, surprisingly without waking him. Not sure what to think of the situation, the man grabbed a pillow and the blanket off his bed, now regretting the fact that he found it useless to carry spare bedroom equipment.

Izaya must have been a heavy sleeper, because Shizuo managed to lift the brunette up and slip the pillow under his head without making the other so much as stir. Then he draped the blanket over the lithe body on his couch and looked down at his handiwork.

So odd, having the stupid little leech sleep over at his house. More so, considering Shizuo felt no urge to crush the man's skull in. Having nowhere else to sit, he chose to take a seat on the floor while leaning back against the couch, legs out in front of him under the cheap wooden coffee table he had.

His house had fleas…

The thought didn't please him and every so often he would quickly turn and take a suspicious look at the man on his couch. Izaya was a sneaky one. For all he knew, everything had been an act to get inside his house and kill him while never having to fight. After all, the man was known for playing with human emotions; it wouldn't be beneath him to do something so underhanded. But Izaya never moved and every time Shizuo glanced over his shoulder, his eyes landed on the tear stains on the informant's pale cheeks.

He really had been crying… But why?

"What the fuck ever…" the blonde finally muttered, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. It wasn't like he cared about Izaya anyway, so why should the man's emotions matter? He had stopped glancing over his shoulder and started to doze off, completely missing when Izaya shifted in his sleep, burying his face into the pillow and pulling the blanket up over his head, inhaling deeply in his sleep while dreaming of some stupid blond protozoa he hated.

_Shizuo blinked sleepily in his dream and sat up, looking around the room he was in. It was elegant-looking, but all the decorations were white, making the room look devoid of color besides himself, Izaya, and all the red yarn. The two were on a large, white bed with a canopy arching over them. Red yarn was everywhere, winding around the room, bedposts, even around the two men's bodies while the ends of the yarn connected their pinkies together._

_The hell was this…?_

_Izaya was asleep, just like Shizuo knew him to be in real life, back at his apartment. Unlike real life, however, Shizuo smirked and realized how easy it would be to kill the pesky brunette. In the dream he wasted no time wrapping the red yarn around the man's scrawny neck, fully preparing to choke the life out of him._

Shizuo woke early the next morning with a smirk full of malice on his face. Despite waking up on the floor of his apartment with blinding light streaming in through his window, it was a good morning. How could it not be when he just had a dream about killing the man he hated?

The line of thought lasted for all of three seconds before the blonde asked himself why he was on the floor. Then he remembered Izaya had 'spent the night' on his couch. The man quickly sat up and looked over at the flea with narrowed eyes. Sure enough, the smaller man was still there, sleeping soundly. And Shizuo hadn't been killed in the middle of the night. Amazing.

"Stupid louse…" the man growled softly as he stood, stiff joints popping as he tried to work out the kink in his neck. Sleeping on the floor wasn't the best idea. Feeling more than a little upset about the current arrangement, Shizuo went to the kitchen and started coffee, not bothering to be quiet for the sake of his guest. It didn't matter anyway… Izaya was a strangely heavy sleeper.

Rich, black coffee fixed, the blond man held the steaming mug in his hand as he moved to the small terrace he had right off the living room. It was a nice morning. The sun was bright and warm, the people were quiet, and, if it hadn't been for Izaya in the living room, Shizuo would have found everything perfect. He leaned against the railing as he sipped his coffee, staring at the people below him going about their morning routines.

Maybe it wasn't so bad, even with the flea.

Shizuo stood out there for an hour, slowly nursing his coffee until Izaya stirred. At first the brunette was a bit confused. He had fallen asleep on his couch plenty of times, but never with a pillow and blanket and the leather always stuck to his skin in the morning. This couch was far more comfortable than his modern one. Not to mention it smelled good. Still sleepy, Izaya turned his head and buried it in the pillow, spending a couple minutes just enjoying wherever he was before he remembered last night.

Crimson eyes flashed open as he bolted up, the blanket falling around his waist as he looked around the apartment he had failed to even glance at the other night. It was strangely neat for one such as Shizuo. Speaking of which, where was he? Izaya quickly looked behind him, expecting to see the blonde with a refrigerator held threateningly over his head, but there was nothing. Then he noticed the sliding door to the terrace was open and Shizuo was standing out there, back to the living room as he stared off at nothing.

Izaya stared for a minute before sighing. He had two choices: either explain his behavior last night or sneak out of the house and pretend it never happened. The second appealed to him more but something stopped him. He knew he shouldn't have come last night…

Reluctantly, the brunette pulled the warm blanket over his shoulders and stood up, walking to the terrace to join Shizuo while clasping the two corners to his chest. The blonde's eyes flickered over to him for a second as he stepped up next to him at the rail, but he just looked away and sipped his coffee, ignoring the flea. Izaya copied Shizuo's pose at the rail and stared off as the silence stretched on for a good ten minutes until Shizuo finally spoke.

"So what the hell was that about last night?"

The magical question. Izaya tried to play it off with a laugh as he looked over at Shizuo. The other refused to return the glance. "It's because I hate you, Shizu-chan," he answered with a smirk, giving up the one sided staring contest as he turned back to his beloved humans meandering on the streets below. "I had just been thinking about that the other night. How much I hate and despise you."

"Oh, really?" Shizuo asked, raising an eyebrow. "So you figured out something you already knew and flipped out about it?"

Izaya was silent for a second. "Not exactly…" he answered thoughtfully, removing one hand from inside the blanket around his shoulders so he could tap his lips. "I was thinking about how I loved all humans and then I started asking myself where you would fit in. If I fit you in with the humans, I would be acknowledging that I don't love them all and that there are some that don't play according to my plan. But if I don't fit you with the humans, then I'm saying I'm not the only above-mortal man here, which I can't have." Shizuo snorted but it went ignored as the brunette continued. "So really, I don't know what you are, Shizu-chan. But then I started to think about love… Since I love all humans, it wouldn't be fair to pick one to love more than the others, not to mention impossible. They're all brainless and so easy to manipulate. It just wouldn't be fun. So who do I have to love in my life? Or am I doomed to be alone forever? It wouldn't really bother me because I don't need anyone else in my life to define my existence, but it really made me think. If I can't love humans more than I already do, who is there left to love? My only answer was you, Shizu-chan. Not quite human but not quite god… A demi-god, really. But I can't love you because I hate you. You see the dilemma?"

They lapsed back into silence again, only this time it was thoughtful instead of awkward. Again, Shizuo broke it.

"I would really like to know what you're smoking, flea," he said, shaking his head. But there didn't seem to be his usual anger in it. As if the mere mention of smoking reminded him of it, the blond reached in his breast pocket for his pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and rolling it in his fingers before sticking it between his lips but not lighting it. "So… What? You realized you love me and flipped out?"

"Heh…" Izaya tipped his head back to look at the light blue, cloudless sky. "No. Didn't you hear me? I hate you. I can't possibly love you. Which is why I came last night to kill you."

Shizuo looked over at the brunette with a look that clearly stated, "I'm still here."

The raven laughed, turning around so he was facing the house and leaning back against the rail. "But again, there was a problem. I realized I couldn't kill you. How boring would my life be then? Every human would conform to my plans and nothing would stand in my way. My life would become nothing but apathy, and who wants that? Everyone is so predictable… Except you, Shizu-chan. That's the only reason my life is interesting. It's the reason I can't kill you."

That thought, again, hung in silence for a moment.

"You need me just like I need you, you annoying little pest…" Shizuo muttered with a sigh, watching a schoolgirl trip only to be caught by some blonde kid who immediately launched into a long speech. A few select words about love and damsels in distress floated up to the blonde's ears. Tch. Kids. "I try so hard to control my anger," he continued as he watched the kids walk away, "but the only way to do that is to keep it bottled in. I mean… If I let it out I end up hurting someone. And I do pretty good too. I bottle everything and right when I'm about to burst, you show up to taunt me. And then I pop. But you know what? As much as I want to smash your annoying face in, I just can't. You're too damn fast! And after you've skipped town I… I feel better. I've gotten my anger out, and it's easier to start bottling it again."

Izaya hummed. "So we need each other?"

"Guess so…" the other muttered with a long suffering sigh. How he hated to admit that… But at the same time it was the truth.

What had been a quiet, slow conversation suddenly sped up as Shizuo felt a tug on his shoulder, whirling him around. His first thought was an attack, despite the talk they both had just had, but instead his eyes widened as he felt warm, soft lips meet his. The mug of coffee he had been holding slipped from his hands in shock and fell from the terrace, an angry shout floating from below with it. But it went ignored as Izaya pulled back with a grin, a bright look in his crimson eyes.

"Shizu-chan, let's hate each other forever!" he said as if he had found the solution to all their problems. The blonde's confused face was wiped clean as he was pulled, rather forcefully, into another kiss. This time Izaya wasn't quite as gentle about things, and the way his lips moved roughly against Shizuo made it clear there was only one thing for the other to do if he wanted answers. So he wrapped an arm around the informant's waist and pressed him against the rail of the terrace, kissing back.

They remained lip-locked for quite a bit before the kiss was broken for breath, both of the men panting softly. Shizuo looked lost while Izaya licked his lips, giving a triumphant grin. "Let's always hate each other," he repeated. "After all, hate is much more passionate than love and lasts much longer. Love is so fleeting… So fickle and petty. Our hate has bound us together so far, so let's make it hold us together forever."

Shizuo caught on fairly quickly and smirked. "How could I love a flea, you annoying pest?"

The informant merely smiled and kissed Shizuo again, only lightly before he pulled back and turned to face over the terrace. "I hate Shizuo Heiwajima!" he shouted, surprising the man into taking a step back. Izaya merely giggled like he was insane as he pulled himself up onto the edge of the rail and sat there, his arms out as he shouted it again. "I hate Shizuo Heiwajima! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" More giggles spewed from the man as he spun around to face Shizuo and dropped over the rail of the balcony, hanging over the edge, upside down with his legs hooked to keep him from falling to his death. He narrowly avoided bashing his head against the concrete bottom of the terrace. "I hate him with all my heart! I just hate Shizuo Heiwajima and he hates me!"

"Would you knock it off?" Shizuo snapped as he leaned over the edge and grabbed the front of the brunette's coat, dragging him and back onto the terrace. "You're going to get yourself killed, you fucking flea, and that's _my _job!"

Ever since that day, the two have been the most impossible couple. Despite the hate, love still managed to bud in their relationship. However, because it took root within the hate, it grew stronger than anyone else could ever imagine, despite the high medical bills that came with it. That day, nothing changed for them, yet everything was different. They were enemies, yet at the same time the most caring lovers this world had ever seen. Each supported the other yet grounded them at the same time, reminding the other of their strengths and limitations. Honestly… It was a perfect disaster.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Just something I wrote while bored. I think this couple is cute, but it's hard to write for since they _technically_ hate each other. I like to think I found some sort of loophole. Thanks to phoenixmoonfire for being my beta.


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